Leaving Things Behind and Moving Forward

When something starts to cause you to question your mood, and mine has been hanging towards depressed more and more, your life, your ability to be a good mom, but most importantly when it starts to effect your spirituality, no matter how small your contribution may be, it's time to cut that thing out of your life. Well, as many of my readers may have known...we were on Facebook...notice the past tense. I liked it. I loved how I could share pictures of my family and easily let people in on my day to day business. Well, yesterday I called a stop to it all. I deactivated my boys accounts and mine. I have asked and asked and asked for people that I had considered to be my friends in the truth...my spiritual brothers and sisters to get together for play dates with our children. I know the importance of having friends in the truth. I know that is what my boys need so I have tried my hardest to have them get together with other fellow witnesses. I've suggested many places we could all meet up, I've even offered my home as a location, only to be ignored or left behind. I've watched all of the people I thought were friends, that have children Joshua's age or around his age get together and have a blast, while we were left again in the background. I know I may sound bitter about it, and in a way, I am. I am disappointed that my boys are not invited to share in these outings. That I am not invited.

I have left Facebook because I strongly feel that what I don't know about won't hurt me anymore. I don't need to see what others are doing anymore and if they want to see what we are doing as a family whether it be through recreation or spiritually they can come here and see what we are doing. I can no longer hold the happiness I can give to my boys on what I need (friendship with the moms). Over the past years I've done just fine on my own and luckily my boys have each other because they will be able to always have that playmate to go and do things with.

I'm sorry that my family will no longer see random pictures, but such is the case to save my own sanity and in the long run the sanity of my family because they will no longer see their mom and wife walk around in a fog wondering, "What did I do wrong?".